Commitment Issues

I don't understand it. Why am I so scared to commit? Why can't I just leap into it, and to be faithful to it. I keep telling myself its what I want to do, but my actions. My actions just keep contradicting everything, and then I am left wondering, when my mind finally catches up with everything I am doing: how could I do this to myself?

I am not necessarily talking about a relationship here, but just everything in life. Whether its you have promised your pet that you will walk them today, or you looked at those study books and you swore you would start on the study. How can you keep yourself 100% focused on the task at hand? How do you cross the line from thinking about it, to putting it in motion???

-Lost Girl

I may not be able to change the past....

But I can hope for a better future.

As, I sit here at my desk trying not to stress about the uni work I have coming up, I ponder. I ponder my life, its meanings, my mistakes and short comings, as well as my future. With all the thinking, maybe I should become a philosophy major.

And the conclusion: although I can do nothing about how I became who I am, and I can't change everything that has happened, I do hope that when I wake I can at least try to make the future different. After all, "I am the master of my fate; the captain of my soul".

Although, to the believers what control can one have over life? And more so, if your fate is to be handed over to some devine being; do you sit around and wait for intervention that faith dictates will happen when you "hand over the reigns" or do you still have to go out and act, act with some control of your life?

As always insanely confused and
-Lost Girl

Try, try again.

It is only early, but today we are going to do it, instead of falling short we are going to get back on the band wagon and fight. Fight to do what it is that we want to do, rather than what we are use to.

-Lost Girl

Birds can't swim, but fish can fly....

Don't you hate it, when you know where you want to be but you just don't know how to reach it. It is like everyday becomes a struggle, one minute you are striving and the next you have fallen into some habit that you thought you had overcome, and it leaves you even further from your goals because not only arn't you there, but your will power has given way to.